Ello Love

(Source: homelessdepot)

justw4iting:

hes-my-whore:

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aweeahsweetheart:

rawritsracheal:

Aha

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(Source: staypozitive)

(Source: breanneholmes)

s-t-4-n:

I love this picture.

(Source: )

saltymint:

this is gorgeous

(Source: furys)

me too

(Source: helloeverything)

(Source: p-i-s-s-i-n-g)

- Wax the ceiling 
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth 
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog’s hair 
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog…see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards 
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a bed of nails 
- DON’T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your pillow X-rayed 
- Drink straight shots…of water
- Calmly have a nervous breakdown 
- Give your goldfish a perm
- Fly a brick 
- Play tag…on West 35th Street
- Exorcise a ghost 
- Exercise a ghost 
- Be blue
- Be red
- But don’t be orange
- Plant a shoe
- Sweat 
- Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil
- Turn 
- Write a letter to Plato
- Mail it 
- Take your sofa for a walk
- Start
- Stop
- Dial 911 and breathe heavily 
- Go to a funeral…tell jokes
- Play the piano…with mittens on 
- Scheme
- Sit
- Stay 
- Water your family room
- Cause a power failure
- Roll over 
- Play dead
- Find a witch
- Burn her 
- Donate your brother’s body to science
- Ask why
- Wriggle
- Regress
- Sleepwalk without sleeping 
- Try to join Hell’s Angels by mail 
- Wonder
- Be a square root 
- Ask stupid questions
- Weld your car doors shut 
- Spew
- Vacation at Three-Mile Island 
- Surf Ohio
- Teach your pet rock to play dead 
- Go bowling for small game
- Be a monk…for a day 
- Wear a sweatband to your wedding
- Staple 
- Run away
- Intimidate a piece of chalk 
- Abuse the plumbing
- Bend a florescent light 
- Bend a brick
- Annoy total strangers 
- Let the best man win
- Believe in Santa Claus 
- Throw marshmallows against the wall
- Hold an ice cube as long as possible 
- Adopt strange mannerisms
- Blow up a balloon until it pops 
- Sing soft and sweet and clear
- Sing loud and sour and gravely
- Open everything 
- Balance a pencil on your nose 
- Pour milk in your shoes
- Write graffiti under the rug 
- Embarrass yourself
- Grind your teeth 
- Chew ice
- Count your belly button 
- Sit in a row
- Stack crumbs 
- Gesture
- Save your toenail clippings 
- Make a pass at your blender
- Punt 
- Make up words that start with X
- Make oatmeal in the bathtub 
- Search for the Lost Chord
- Chew on a sofa cushion 
- Sing a duet
- Balance a pillow on your head 
- Hold your breath
- Faint 
- Stretch
- Flash your mailman 
- Teach your TA English
- Learn to speak Farsi 
- Swear in Russian
- Use an eraser until it goes away 
- Disassemble your car
- Put it together inside out
- Record your walls
- Interview your feet
- Make a list of your favorite fungi
- Sell formaldehyde
- Repeat
- Ad lib
- Fade
- File your teeth- Whine 
- Rake your carpet
- Re-elect Richard Nixon 
- Critique “Three’s Company”
- Listen to a painting 
- Play with matches
- Buff your cat 
- Race ferrets
- Paint your house…Day-Glow Orange 
- Have a formal dinner at White Castle
- Read Homer in the original Greek
- Learn Greek 
- Change your mind
- Change it back
- Watch the sun…see if it moves
- Build a pyramid 
- Stand on your head
- Stand on someone else’s head
- Spit shine your Nikes 
- See how long you can stay awake
- See how long you can sleep 
- Paint your teeth 
- Wear a salad 
- Speak with a forked tongue
- Paint stripes on a lake 
- Ski Kansas 
- Sleep in freefall
- Kill a Joule 
- Test thin ice…with a pogo stick
- Apply for a unicorn hunting license 
- Do a good job
- Crawl 
- Invite the Mansons over for dinner
- Paint your windows 
- Watch a watch until it stops
- Flash your goldfish 
- Paint
- Flirt with an evergreen 
- Smile
- Rotate your garden…daily 
- Paint a smile
- Shoot a fire hydrant 
- Apologize to it 
- Pretend you’re blind
- Annoy yourself 
- Get mad at yourself
- Stop speaking to yourself 
- Be a side effect
- Ride a bicycle…up Mt. McKinley 
- Duck
- Redecorate…your garage 
- Develop a complex
- Join the Army…be someone simple 
- Try harder
- Hit the deck 
- Put leg-warmers on your furniture
- Cut the deck 
- Crumple
- Translate Shakespeare into English 
- Skydive to church
- Cheer up a potato 
- Do aerobic exercises…in your head
- Play cards with your swimming pool 
- Pinstripe your driveway
- Play Kick the Fire Hydrant 
- Harness chipmunk power
- Build a house with ice cubes 
- Call London for a cab
- Mug a stop sign 
- Change your name…daily
- Go for a walk in your attic 
- Challenge your neighbor to a duel
- Build a house out of toothpicks 
- Howl
- Wear a lampshade on your head 
- Memorize the dictionary
- Stomp grapes in the bathtub 
- Find a bug and chase it
- Make yourself a pair of wings 
- Be immobile
- Dance ‘til you drop 
- Check under chairs for chewing gum
- Squish a loaf of bread 
- Moo
- Bounce a potato 
- Outmaneuver your shadow
- Climb the walls 
- Appreciate everything
- Challenge yourself to a duel 
- Make napalm
- Tattoo your dresser
- Watch a bowling ball
- Buy some diapers
- Eat everything
- Begin
- Pour milk in the sink
- Make cottage cheese
- Tie-dye your sheets 
- Carpet your ceiling 
- Hold your earlobes
- Fold your earlobes
- Flap
- Squawk
- Read tea leaves
- Analyze the Koran
- Be Buddha
- Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize
- Plug in the cat
- Turn on everything
- Drop pebbles down the chimney
- Turn off your neighbor
- Kill a plant
- Buy a 1931 Almanac
- Memorize the weather section
- Think lewd thoughts about yourself
- Blow bubbles
- Send chills down your spine 
- Peel grapes 
- Make paper from the skins
- Bloat
- Catch them with your radiator
- Get run over by a train of thought
- Make up famous sayings
- Bite your pinkie- Get your dog braces 
- Shave a shrub
- Have a proton fight 
- Watch a car rust
- Quiver 
- Rotate your carpet
- Learn to type…with your toes 
- Set up your Christmas tree in April
- Be someone special 
- Buy the Brooklyn Bridge 
- Mail it to a friend 
- Go back to square one
- Factor your social security number 
- Take the fifth
- Memorize a series of random numbers 
- Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages
- Join the Foreign Legion 
- Learn Sanskrit
- Exist…existentially, of course 
- Print counterfeit Confederate money
- Kick a cabbage 
- Take a picture
- Put it back 
- Sandpaper a mushroom 
- Play solitaire…for cash 
- Abuse your patio furniture
- Run for Pope 
- Count to a million…fast
- Make a schematic drawing…of a rock 
- Commit seppuku…with a paper knife
- Revert 
- Think shallow thoughts
- Starch your shoes
- Polish your Calvin’s 
- Contemplate a cockroach
- Get a dog to chase your car 
- Let him catch it 
- Investigate the Czar
- Form a political party
- Climb a sidewalk 
- Have a political party
- Get diagonal…with a good friend 
- Ride a loaf of bread
- Sharpen a carrot 
- Interrogate a gerbil
- Go bow hunting for Toyotas
- Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids 
- Jump back
- Play to lose 
- Scalp a street light
- Have your car painted…plaid 
- Read a tomato
- Sharpen your sleeping skills 
- Watch a game show…take notes
- Put out a fire
- If you can’t find a fire, make one 
- Interview a cloud
- Play tiddlywinks…go for blood
- Play basketball…in a minefield 
- Don’t talk to things
- Draw Lewis structures on your ceiling 
- Have your cat bronzed
- Have your gerbil gilded 
- Write books about writing books
- Create random equations 
- Mispell words
- Tell your feet a joke 
- Throw a tomato into a fan
- Sing the ABC song backwards 
- Pretend you’re a dog
- Dial-a-prayer and argue with it 
- Grease the doorknobs
- String up a room 
- Stack furniture
- Relive fond memories 
- Tie your shoelaces together
- Gargle 
- Count your teeth with your tongue
- Decay 
- Find your half-life
- Design a better toilet seat
- Shred a newspaper
- Have a headache
- Scratch
- Sniff
- Hatch an egg
- Play air guitar
- Act profound
- Spill
- Spell
- Stare
- Truncate
- Slouch
- Develop hearing problems
- Put your feet behind your head
- Tie bows in everything
- Hold your hand
- Watch the minute hand move
- Grow your fingernails
- Pretend you’re a telephone
- Ring
- Radiate
- Skip
- Play hopscotch…with real scotch
- Clock the velocity of your REMs
- Put your shoes on the opposite feet
- Cross your toes
- Roll your tongue
- Crystallize
- Baby oil the floor
- Hide
- Attack innocent bunnies
- Declare war
- Destroy a tree
- Hide the scrabble bag
- Seduce your stick shift
- Wink
- Memorize the periodic table
- Mummify
- Pretend you’re a roadie
- Buy a Ginsu knife
- Collect electrons
- Correct typos that aren’t there
- Polish your neck…use Pledge

- Recopy the Bible substituting your name for God
- Loosen the lug nuts on your dad’s new car
- Drop your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet
- Count the bags under Walter Mondale’s eyes
- Unscrew all the lightbulbs and rearrange the furniture
- Found the Jim Jones School of Bartending
- Listen for non-satanic messages (i.e. “Drink milk”)
- Dress like Motley Crue…surprise your grandmother
- Dial-a-Prayer and tell them they’re wrong
- Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail
- Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire
- Make a drive-in window at your local bank where there wasn’t one before
- Walk on water…but don’t get caught
- Confess to a crime…that didn’t happen
- Be in the wrong place at the right time
- Plot the overthrow of your local School Board
- Request covert assistance from the CIA
- Discover the source of the Mississippi
- Search for buried treasure…in Nebraska
- Hot wax the bottom of your brother’s dress shoes
- Preach the philosophy of Marx…Groucho, that is
- Drink as much prune juice as you can
- Write a book about your previous life
- Serve ping-pong balls…as hors d’oeuvres
- Jump up and down…on your alarm clock
- Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins
- Sterilize your stereo…with Jack Daniels
- Carve you and your girlfriend’s initials…in a marshmallow
- Drive the speed limit…in your garage
- Sing the national anthem…during your calculus final
- Wear a three-piece suit…in a sauna
- Pay off the national debt…with a bad check
- Go to a cemetary and verbally abuse dead people
- Give yourself a hernia…for Christmas
- Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes
- Recite romantic poetry…to your toaster
- See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement
- Go to McDonald’s and pretend you can’t speak English
- Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good
- job they’re doing…On April 1st
- Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor
- Take apart all your major kitchen appliances…mix and match them
- Turn your TV picture tube upside down
- Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy
- Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets
- Carry a tune…drop it, see if it breaks
- Be planar…but don’t tell your parents
- Play hockey with your little cousin…as the puck
- Make a deal with the devil…but keep your fingers crossed
- Put instant concrete in your big brother’s waterbed
- Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese
- Debate politics with a fern
- See how small you can scrunch your face- Sell firewood door to door…in Atlantis
- Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization)
- Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation
- Raise professional certified racing turnips
- Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation
- Lead an aerobics class…for patients of the I.C.U.
- Go to a drive-in movie in a tank
- Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway
- Send President Reagan an alarm clock…wind it up first
- Found a cockroach stable and stud ranch
- Send your goldfish to obedience school
- Free the oppressed toasters of America
- Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing
- Give your cat a suntan…in the microwave
- Park your car…with a friend
- Park your car…with a group of friends
- Frame your first statement of bankruptcy
- Place it on the wall of your office
- Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = population…solve for x)
- Contribute to the population problem
- Wear a T-shirt that says “I’ll walk on you to see The Who” and a peace sign
- Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor
- Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife
- Get Ronco and K-tel to merge…they sell the same stuff anyway
- Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night
- Play with anything that looks interesting
- Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first
- See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water
- Try to ignite water…the Mississippi might work
- Draw Venn diagrams…screw them up
- State fallacies as fact (like, “peanuts grow on bushes”)
- Visit the Architecture building…loudly criticize its design
- Make a schematic drawing…of a rock
- Wallpaper your laundry room…with pages from books you don’t like
- See if diamonds really do cut glass…on everything in your neighbor’s house
- Tenderize your tongue…chew on it for a while
- See how long you can stare at a fluorescent light…try green
- Bronze your sister’s turtle
- See how long it takes for her to notice
- See what she does when she notices
- Bronze your sister- If you lose, stop watering it and try again.
- Increase your territorial holdings by force
- Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat
- Boldly go where no man has gone before
- Be a threat to the American way of life
- Do research into the cause of World War III
- Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life
- Re-establish the Roman Empire…in Pittsburgh

gr.